Creating a positive identity has nothing to do with the outside world, and everything to do with your inside world. I wish I could go back and tell my younger self what I am about to share with you right now. And it is this:
Be YOU bravely. Whatever passion you have, whatever interests, desires you have, seek that and don’t let any outside voices tell you differently. Pursue it fiercely and don’t stop until you achieve it. Sure, you’ll make mistakes along the way, but I’m here to tell you, it’s ok. When you listen to the still voice inside yourself, you will always confidently know that you lived by you, and no one else. What the world tells us we should be when we grow up, is all an illusion. You don’t grow up to be like this world. You grow up to be like you. Magnificently messy, beautifully vibrant, sparkling YOU.
You grow up to live inspired. To wake up each and every day, happy. Fulfilled by what you do, and by who you surround yourself with. That’s success. You grow up to live your life as fully as possible. Abandoned of fear. Full of promise and hope. To follow the pursuit of you and to live in that flow. Life is this vibrational force that is either in alignment or not. Do not live out of your alignment. You know it, deep down inside, when you are. Trust yourself. Do not allow yourself to be controlled by others, or a job, or a relationship. You are the master of your destiny. And within you is everything you need. Everything, to live a happy, beautiful, successful life. All you need is the courage to say yes to it.
Be good and do good. And let the good follow you. Life is a circle, and every action has an opposite reaction. It’s called karma. What goes around comes back around, whether it’s now or years later. So live to create a life that feels good on the inside, not just one that looks good on the outside. And whatever you do, always be kind. Our hearts and brains, thank us for it, because when we are kind, it releases endorphins and dopamine that reduces stress, anxiety, and blood pressure. Plus it just has this ripple effect of goodness. Be the person who lights others up.
We become what we choose to be. Like the old adage goes, fake it ’til you make it. And then keep going. Every successful person starts somewhere. If you want that job as a photographer, get a camera, befriend people in that community, reach out and make connections. Then practice and DO. Where our energy goes, the energy flows. So stop comparing and start creating.
Also, celebrate others around you and their success. When that twinge of envy or jealousy comes around, simply send love and light their way, and continue celebrating the little accomplishments that come your way. By focusing only on what you are doing, it continues to build the foundation for your success. Comparing yourself to others is a futile task, and one that only produces negativity.
Make the vow, every day, I CHOOSE ME. The greatest lifelong romance you will ever have is the one with yourself. You don’t grow up to chase boys, you grow up to chase dreams. You don’t grow up to marry boys, you grow up to marry YOU.
You don’t live your whole life as YOU and then give it away to someone freely. Someone who never deserved your love in the first place. But you gave it to him anyway, because you never learned how to love yourself. You sacrificed your self-worth, maybe even your values, thinking someone outside of you, could fill the missing pieces. But the truth is, only you alone can fill those missing pieces. Good, real, honest, relationships simply and positively enhance the person we are. They are an addition to ourselves, like the cherry on top of our sundae. We can never have a good, real, honest relationship, unless we have that with ourselves. Simply put, you attract what you reflect.
Surround Yourself With Good People. Tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are. That’s an old proverb, but one that could apply to not just our friends, but also our co-workers, peers, family, etc. This is one one of the most important decisions we can make in our lives, and I can’t stress it enough. Choose wisely. Your life, your freedom, your self-worth, DEPEND ON IT. And if you find yourself in the wrong relationship, know when to walk away, and have the strength and courage to do so. I don’t care if your heart is on the floor when you walk out that door. Do not waste your time, your peace, your energy and your precious gifts on people who do not treat you VALUABLY.
Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously. Life is meant to be enjoyed. Ultimately, we all face suffering. But life is a beautiful balance of heartache and happiness. The only way we can get through it all, is to have a sense of humor about it. Everything eventually works out. It’s one of the beautiful gifts time grants us.
If you are at all, struggling with any parts of your life, I would humbly suggest, really reflecting on what it is you want in life. Write down your top five values. A value is simply something of importance or worth. Make these values your true north. And don’t sway from following that. Every decision you make, ask yourself, is it in alignment with what I want in life. And then confidently walk in the direction of your dreams, smile, and enjoy the ride. I’m rooting for you, for me. I’m rooting for us.