Spend time talking to your girl friends, mom, aunts and well…any woman who is a mother for that matter – when it comes to the birth of our babies, nothing really ever goes as planned! Maybe I was a little naive to believe mine would go any other way but picture perfect. I had a deposit in for a birth videographer, a photographer coming in for fresh 48s. Yet – I had to cancel all the photo ops as I underwent an emergency c-section.
The last days leading up to giving birth were pretty agonizing for me. My body was at its absolute maximum capacity and there was no more room in my narrow body! Everything was being crammed upwards and I was increasingly in more and more discomfort and pain. It had become hard to even catch my breath. Nights in particular became unbearable, as I’d walk around our house at all hours, trying to get some relief in my chest. At times, I would get so nauseous. Nothing really seemed to relieve the discomfort.
At 40 weeks, my body was showing zero signs that she was ready to make her entrance. On top of the physical discomforts and pain, the sheer waiting for her to arrive was testing our patience levels! By the time her due date came and passed, on Sunday, February 3rd, my husband and I didn’t know what to do with ourselves. It was what felt like, the longest waiting game. And yes, we tried alllll the things.
On February 5th, two days past our due date, we made an impromptu visit to labor and delivery due to my increasing discomfort and high blood pressure, which I had been monitoring. Our doctor came into the triage room after just finishing a surgery and said to Will and I, “Well, we’re going to have this baby in 30 minutes! Your blood work shows you have preeclampsia and you’re going to need a c-section.” Of course, my greatest fear during the last trimester of pregnancy was in fact – having a c-section! Yet, when those words were spoken, I felt it was the absolute right decision and I was at total peace with it. I was ready to meet our daughter and it didn’t matter how.
Without any time to process what was about to happen, a team of 4 nurses came into the triage room, along with the anesthesiologist. I vividly remember looking over at my husband filled with adrenaline and excitement. He had the biggest smile on his face in anticipation of meeting his baby girl. Me on the other hand? Well, I was a complete pile of nerves. To put it lightly, I had never been more terrified in my whole entire life.
The team rolled me off to the very cold, very sterile, very bright operating room. The nurses sat me up on the steel, cold operating table and the anesthesiologist began explaining the process of receiving the spinal tap. My sweet doctor sat next to me on the table with a calm, excited smile and held my hand so tight as the needle was inserted into my back. I don’t remember feeling anything, but I do remember my whole body shaking uncontrollably, my heart racing out of my chest, and my mind saying – “be strong.”
Suddenly I was reunited with Will, and they began the process of delivering our baby girl. Will was still smiling that big, excited smile as I looked over at him in his medical scrubs. He held my hand tight as he looked into my terrified eyes. With such strong conviction he whispered, “I love you so much. I have never loved you more than I do right now.” Tears filled my eyes as he spoke those words. From the sheer nerves, to the sheer excitement, to his love – it was the most intense set of emotions I have ever experienced. Throughout the delivery, Will never stopped whispering those words, and he never let go of my hand…
Everything in-between those moments was a blur. Up until the moment my doctor said, “You’re going to feel some pressure,” and they pulled her from my body. The pressure was so intense, I screamed several times. And then, at 1:57 P.M. a first breath was taken and a little cry was heard. At 8 pounds, 7 ounces and measuring 20.75 inches long, our sweet baby girl – Kaia Rai Bohannan, made her entrance into the world. I was overjoyed.
Will looked up over the curtain and said, “She’s absolutely gorgeous. You did such a good job Boo Boo.” He asked if he could let go of my hand to go see her, and I said of course. He then brought her over, and for the very first time, I laid eyes on my daughter. My daughter I had dreamt of my whole life. My daughter I had spent the last 10 months creating. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. She had pouty lips, pink skin, a little bit of fuzzy blonde hair, and really long fingers and toes! As Will held her tiny, just born body, in his big, daddy arms, I kissed her cheeks and I told her how much I loved her.
After the surgery was complete, they placed Kaia on my chest and rolled me to our recovery room. My parents and brother were waiting outside and walked with us and welcomed their new grand daughter and niece. Will’s parents soon joined us too.
Even though our delivery wasn’t what I had planned, wanted or expected – the day I met my daughter was the very best moment and experience of my entire life. It was absolutely perfect and I wouldn’t change a single moment of it for the world. She came to us safe and healthy. My husband only showed me more how blessed and lucky I am to have him by my side, and in this life. And to be honest, the surgery was something I’ve walked through. It can only add to the depths of me. Just like my daughter, deepening this life, and forever marking my belly and heart of her presence and love. We are so blessed.
We can’t wait to watch you grow. We can’t wait to watch your journey. We’ll be there every step of the way, sweet Kaia. Our little Rai of sunshine.